"It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business." The Audition Blogs, Part One

I took an orchestral audition yesterday. I felt great about how I prepared. I had a great warm-up that morning. I feel like I played great in the actual audition.....

......I still didn't advance.

*sigh*

That's the way auditions are sometimes, though. This is not the first time I've felt great about how I performed on an audition and still didn't win or even advance. It is something that you just have to accept about the process of auditioning.

I'll admit, I was a little miffed for about 10 minutes after they announced the results. Who wouldn't be, especially after a good performance? But I remembered very soon after, while driving away, a line from my favorite movie, The Godfather; "It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business."

That's good food for thought for anyone taking auditions these days. When one doesn't make the cut, try to remember that line, because it's very true in the auditioning business. Audition committees have a very difficult job to do and they're just trying to find the best player on that day. If something about your playing is not quite up to the desired level, the audition is over for you.

But it's not a personal attack on you. To walk away mad at the committee, or the proctor, or the audition staff is, in my opinion, foolish. In most cases, everyone involved in the audition is rooting for everyone to play well. Speaking from experience, sitting on a committee and listening to bad audition after bad audition is a soul-squashing venture. An audition where the majority of players played well would be a dream!

So when things don't go your way, look inside first. Was it really that good of an audition? Did you achieve the things you wanted musically? Or did you just get all the right notes and rhythms? Was it in tune? There are a myriad of things that could be the cause for your dismissal. Thinking back to my audition yesterday, I really felt all the good things were there. But, I did miss, slightly, an entrance on one of the excerpts. Was that enough to get me cut? Maybe. But maybe I also didn't have the right sound for this orchestra. Or the right stylistic approach. Who knows?

But none of the reasons are personal. To take the results of an audition personally can be very deflating and just make the process all the more difficult. Frankly, when this happens to me, it fires me up for the next audition. I did the right things in preparation and application. There just wasn't a match between me and this particular committee. Someday I'll get another match. And it's gonna feel great!

I do a realistic assessment of what I did after each audition, regardless of the results. It IS possible to have a great experience and NOT win or advance. Conversely, it's possible to not play your best and still have a great result. I've experienced both and this audition was the former. I'm definitely on the right track with what I'm doing to prepare for the auditions. My knowledge of the required excerpts is clear and my faith in my own abilities is high. It's just a matter of time before something works out in my favor!

I'm going to walk away and forget this one. Dwelling on the negative is also a soul-squashing thing that only brings bitterness and resentment. And it sure is hard to be an artist when those are the dominating features of your attitude. I like to think of each undesired result as another chance to do even BETTER the next time around.

Besides, it wasn't a negative experience. All I did was not win the job, which puts me in the good company of several other fantastic players who were also at the audition. And you know what? It isn't so terrible.

More on that in Part Two of "The Audition Blogs."

Stay tuned!

Ok, I gotta go practice for the next audition!

JM